Have you ever been to a wedding fair? I hadn’t until recently, but I’ve attended two in the past month, one in Polmont and another in Edinburgh. I’m glad I did because I gained quite a lot from the experience. I knew what to expect to a certain extent – businesses hiring stalls to advertise the sale of wedding dresses, kilt hire, wedding stationary, limousine hire, wedding cakes and so on. I was also told in advance by the organisers that there would be a fashion show, that bands would be playing and that catering would be on offer. So far, no surprises.

One or two things hadn’t occurred to me though. As naïve as it might sound, I hadn’t bargained on standing for six hours, so my feet were killing me by the end of the day. Two of my interfaith minister colleagues whom I had joined up with for the Edinburgh fair decided to “strut their stuff” when the band started playing music from our youth, and I found myself doing a not very good impression of “grandad-dancing” with them. Again, not something I expected, and don’t plan to do again, ever! I’m also very used to speaking to lots of people but my voice became very croaky by the end of the day. Thankfully for my beloved, I was able to give my voice lots of rest the following day!

I really enjoyed engaging with a number of couples during both events. Some were highly organised and focussed having already booked a date and venue, whilst others were only beginning to think about their Big Day. Our illustrated interfaith celebrant banners got a lot of attention and interest which sparked some fascinating conversations with curious couples. I wish I could have had a tenner for every couple who started talking to me with a comment like, “I’m not religious but ….” This provided my colleagues and myself with opportunities to explain what we had trained as ministers to offer; that we were not there to impose anything on them but to help them to celebrate their love on their wedding day as they wanted to do. Once this had been made clear, many of the couples were really keen to explore the various rituals, symbols and other practices that we could offer as part of their ceremony and to understand the religious or cultural meanings associated with these various elements. Handfasting, a quaich ceremony and ring-warming proved particularly popular. Certain prayers and blessings touched hearts and minds too.

I came away from both events feeling tired but glad that I had taken part. It was such a delight to have met so many couples and their families and friends as they navigated their way towards their special day. But I was also aware of some other niggling thoughts… I didn’t speak to any LGBT couples on either day. Was that because they hadn’t felt able to attend? I hope not. Was it because they didn’t feel able to approach an interfaith minister? Again, I hope not. I also realised that many couples had probably decided not to attend because they would be unable to afford a lavish or expensive event. I hope they come to realise that they can still have an amazing day without it costing the earth. And of course many couples would not want to attend a fair because they would be looking to have a small scale, or private, or low-key wedding day. I’ve been left wondering how interfaith ministers like myself can reach these couples, because part of our ministry is to be there for everyone and not just those lovely people who attend a wedding fair.

November 2023