It is often said that it is love that makes the world go round. But what exactly do we mean by “love”? This word is used in so many different ways in the English language, and we often assume that we all know what it means when in fact it can mean different things to different people. The word is frequently demeaned, trivialised and sentimentalised and is often used very casually. I am as guilty as anyone else in this respect. How often do we say things like “I love chocolate” or “I love the colour blue” or “I love dancing”, when in fact we actually mean "I like …. " or "I enjoy …. " or "I am partial to …."?
It is very important to remember that “love” is not just a word that we use frequently in everyday language, it points to something very powerful that touches on profound thoughts, strong emotions, and motivates behaviour. To prove this, just stop for a moment and think about someone really close to you, maybe a partner or a child or a parent who you would say that you love. What stirs within you? Why? What lengths do you think you would go to support or protect them? My guess is that your answer would be wide-ranging and detailed. Speaking personally, I would find it impossible to use just one word to describe what true love means to me. I would probably come up with a family of related words such as compassion, concern, commitment, to name but a few.
Have you noticed that I have started to refer to "true love" and not just "love"? I think that this is my simple attempt to make a distinction between the everyday casual use of the term and the more profound and complex reality which seems to matter so much to us as human beings.
Perhaps we should think of true love as being something which also transcends human relationships? Perhaps we should consider "true love” to refer more to a power, or an energy, or a force? Many religions and spiritualities certainly claim that true love is the ultimate power or force, that it is a good and creative energy and the source of everything.
As an interfaith minister and celebrant I am often involved in holding ceremonies where love between people is focussed upon and celebrated. The most obvious example of this is during a wedding, but it is also true for baby naming ceremonies, anniversaries, the renewal of vows and funerals. Preparing for a ceremony will involve us in thinking about what another person means to us, and that is right and proper. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could do this a bit more often? Perhaps you already do so? I know that it’s something I need to do more frequently, and to more people ….
What I can say with some confidence is that in a world which often feels full of conflict, bitterness and hatred, love is something we ache for, aspire to and value above everything else.
October 2023