I recently officiated at the wedding of a lovely young couple. The whole day was a truly wonderful celebration of love and commitment, with plenty of joy, fun and laughter and expressions of hope for the future. It was a real privilege to share in what will surely be one of the most significant days in the couple’s life together.

Of course there are many different ways of celebrating love and commitment between two people. A legal wedding for opposite-sex or same-sex couples continues to be very popular, whilst civil partnerships and relationship blessings are the preferred choice for many. Interfaith ministers are also called upon to conduct services celebrating significant anniversaries, the renewal of vows, and occasionally the end of a long-term relationship. It might seem strange that some couples should want to mark the end of their relationship, but why not? Sadly, many marriages and other long-term relationships end in acrimony, but others do not. For these couples, the love that initially bound them together has changed and possibly ebbed away, but that love might have gifted them with children, many happy memories and other blessings. On these occasions the ceremony might focus on giving thanks for all that has been, a promise to honour any continuing connections and relationships, and an expression of hope for the separate paths ahead.

I am occasionally asked why a couple would choose an interfaith minister to conduct their ceremony when there are so many celebrants in Scotland. This is a good question. We are indeed very fortunate to have so many excellent priests, ministers, civil and humanist celebrants available to hold a special service for couples. I have previously said that most interfaith ministers would be very happy to hold a religious, spiritual, humanist or other form of ceremony as long as it was based on the couple’s wishes. However, speaking personally, and based on my personal experience, I do find that interfaith ministers are particularly well placed to meet certain specific needs and circumstances. For example, I have conducted ceremonies where one partner may come from a religious tradition where their faith has some importance to them, whilst the other partner has no religious background or interest, or might even be hostile to established religion. Or there may be circumstances where the couple come from two different religions, or from different traditions within the same religion. Sometimes, the couple may not have a strong religious faith any longer but were brought up in a religious home and want to respect the fact that this is still important for members of their immediate families. On occasions such as these, an interfaith minister will have an awareness of, and sometimes a very deep understanding of, the different religious issues and sensitivities here, and would be perfectly able to help the couple find the ceremony they want and need.

Whatever shape or form of ceremony a couple might be looking for, be it a legal wedding, civil partnership, blessing or something else, an interfaith minister will look for what lies at the heart of the couple’s desire and will seek to create something unique and special for them. And what is it that lies at the heart of that desire? Why, love of course!

August 2023